by
Tom Justin
In this issue:
F.E.A.R.(less) – First Evaluate According to Risk
The 8 F.E.A.R. Questions
This was a very popular edition of the Justin Times two years Ago.
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I was kidnapped and held at knife point once. The two men were
obviously on drugs and therefore completely unpredictable. I will
never forget the fear I felt. I didn't have the cash they thought I
had, which made them even more crazed. But that's another story.
By the way, I survived.
I will also never forget another day of fear in my life. My first day,
at age 20, as a professional salesman; I was about to make my first
ever cold call. I was poised to enter an office where I was unknown,
and likely unwelcome. I was terrified.
Today, what is amazing to me is that the fear I felt, standing
outside that office, was the approximate of the fear of being held at
knife point by two drug-crazed hippies. Now, it seems remarkable to
me that the possibility of being rejected or humiliated could nearly
disable me into such fear. I stood outside that office for so long I
should have been arrested for loitering.
In the first incident I had no choice; I had to stay with the
situation. I had to get through it…to live! The other I had the
choice to walk away. Just forget about it and go into another line
of work. I didn't, and it changed my young life.
I even made the sale. Beginner's luck! Although the next five
prospects turned me away, I could see there was a YES out there
beyond the NOs. That initial success gave me a better perspective to
evaluate my fears.
Yes, today it's funny. But the same kinds of fears are no less real
for a lot of people who, someday, in hindsight, may find them
equally 'funny' or unrealistic. Their fears are real and present in
the moment. There are ways to overcome them earlier. Here’s an
acronym to help you remember. F.E.A.R.– First Evaluate
According to Risk. I'll cover that shortly.
Consider that on average, had you been flying, even on 9-11, your
greatest risk would have been driving to and from the airport. I was
in the middle of a trip on September 11, 2001, and after the shock
of what I'd witnessed on TV began to diminish I wasn't thinking about
odds. My fear of getting on an airplane in a few days became very
real to me. The media heightened these fears as they presented all the
worst-case scenarios. No one was talking probabilities.
Fortunately, I began to evaluate the reality of my fears. I had the
luxury of time as we were in an idyllic setting, a house on a
beautiful Idaho lake. On the afternoon of the 12th I broke away
from the incessant horror that had become the only news in the world.
Sitting on the lakeside deck, I called a good friend of mine. She too
expressed the fear that I would have to fly in a couple of days.
It was by expressing this fear out loud that set off my logical mind.
My first responses were to agree, then to question, then to revolt.
My question involved the thousands of flights on the 11th that had
arrived safely. I told her my belief about the odds of safety versus
the odds of danger. She and I agreed, nevertheless, lingering fears
remained.
My revolt was the real motivator. I revolted at the thought that
these monsters were going to ruin my way of life or even interrupt it
unnecessarily. We were hearing about the bravery of the passengers
on the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania. Flying to me became a
statement; a necessary action to prove they hadn't won.
When we evaluate the fears of our daily lives, unconnected to world
events, just those things that cause us to pause, or worse, to
freeze, we might then examine our wants and needs. Or make it an
equation, risk/reward ratio.
For years I've heard FEAR as an acronym, False Evidence Appearing Real.
Well, not all fear is based on false evidence. A fear is a natural
warning device but when it lingers, it demands evaluation. Fears of
interacting with others, of asking for what we want, facing up to our
real and perceived inadequacies and taking action to correct them.
Using the risk/reward ratio, they become conquerable fears.
The odds are with us. We can't control what happens to us, but we can
control our actions and most importantly, our reactions. We can
educate ourselves beyond our fears and become better equipped to
handle the challenges of modern life. When we make this shift the
odds are always on our side.
In 'How To Take No For An Answer And Still Succeed' we look at the
risk/reward ratio. All initial fear is purely an emotional response. It
usually causes an immediate reaction. If it lingers after that,
especially a long-standing fear, you then have an opportunity to
assess it. What's the potential reward for overcoming this fear? So
we take the acronym First Evaluate According to Risk
Here are 8 F.E.A.R. questions to ask yourself to become FEAR(less)
1. What’s the highest risk?
2. What’s the lowest risk?
3. Is there any consideration of the risk of looking foolish if I
fail?
4. What’s the highest possible reward?
5. What’s the lowest possible reward?
6. How high is the level of passion about my decision?
7. If there is little passion about this change, how can I increase
my passion?
8. How does this particular fear serve me now?
It's been said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Fear is in
the mind. While it serves a purpose, the question we all need to ask
ourselves is, “Does this particular fear serve me now?”
Fear of failure causes quitting or worse, apathy, doing nothing. One
can rust with fear.
The underlying secret of dealing with all lingering fears is to assess
your risk/reward. This will often help you to see your way through
or around fears that might otherwise be holding you back. When you
have to wonder, then ask yourself those 8 F.E.A.R. Questions.
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'If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can
take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always
pays the best interest.'
-- Benjamin Franklin, statesman and scientist
"How To Use The Power Of NO"
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